I woke this morning with an unfamiliar sense of anxiety. It was the most glorious spring morning, I had enough time to water all my seedlings and admire the first buds on my roses bushes, but my stomach was in a knot and my mind was troubled. Eventually I had mowed the lawn and swept the driveway in an attempt…
Five keys to better communication
Communication is a crucial aspect in all relationships. In order to communicate, a speaker must convey her/his message in such a way that it is not only received by the listener, but in actual fact heard and where necessary acted upon. Do consider these five things if you are striving to communicate more effectively. 1. Recognise the patterns As with…
In search of slow, again
Ten years ago I read a life-changing book called ’In Praise of Slow’ by Carl Honoré. Last week I went on an information hunt to see what has become of the ideas that seemed so appealing and functional. It seems that the ‘slow movement’ has grown and has certainly been embraced in various aspects of life. But what remains disturbing is that…
Room for spirituality
In the last few years, in various contexts, the term ‘spirituality’ has been used with greater frequency than before. We seem to have a preference for this term, being more skeptical about other ways of describing matters of the soul/spirit (like ‘religion’ or ‘faith’). But what is spirituality? ‘Traditionally, spirituality refers to a religious process of re-formation which “aims to…
From vulnerability to wholeness
Certainly the most important vision I have had for my work as a therapist has been to continuously expand my perceptions on how to live, love and parent differently – to enhance the aspects that work well, to correct the strategies that have become outdated and to embrace new and relevant knowledge. I was scanning through the stack of journal…
Five things long distance running has taught me
I have not always been an incredibly active person. I started jogging when I was 28, but did not do many races. That changed just under six years ago (I was about to turn 40), when I did my first ultramarathon, the rather challenging Comrades Marathon, run annually over a distance of 89 kilometres (56 miles) between Durban and…
The quest for happiness
The word happiness is probably the most frequently used word in my consulting room. It is the one thing most people want, that one emotion that remains elusive and the thing most people experience a lack of. Happiness is commonly described as a feeling that comes over you when you experience a sense of wellbeing and joy. Most people would add…
Teenagers: the times they are a’changing
So now your bundle of joy, that incredibly eloquent toddler and adorable kid has graduated to teenagedom. She is still interesting, but a tad more volatile. He is still full of life, but his activities are now interspersed with prolonged naps. They also challenge you. To many parents, being the parent of a teenager is exactly this: a…
Realisation of resilience
As a therapist, I am continuously amazed by the incredible capacity that people have to deal with life’s burdens, setbacks and struggles. Resilience is that quality that allows certain individuals to be challenged severely by life events and to make a comeback, stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them, they seem to have the resolve to rise above…
Perfect, or Good?
One of the constantly recurring questions facing all people at some time or another is this one: Am I good enough? One of the most provocative challenges of our time has to do with the idea that good is not the goal, but that perfection is. Captions can kill We see them, read them and we feel deflated, if not…