The resilience of romantic love

We all want to be loved in a way that makes us feel great. When we meet someone that we fall in love with, our need to love needs to be matched by our need to be loved. This is when a romantic relationship can flourish into a great connection that can last over time. I have always claimed that…

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To love, and be loved

The half moon shaped courtyard outside my consulting room was planted with herbs 12 years ago. From the rosemary bushes in the sunny corner I have harvested many slips for new plants and the lavenders have provided bunches of fragrant flowers for drying. I also chose two small bayleaf trees, shaped into topiaries. This little haven of herbs has provided…

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FOR THOSE WE CANNOT SEE – High functioning depressives

It may seem hard to imagine, but amongst us live high achieving people who suffer from chronic depression. It is not easy to detect, and often quite difficult to diagnose because the symptoms are not presented publicly. This continuing, low-level of depression is called dysthymia. This type of depression is not as severe as the debilitating major depressive disorders, but…

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About visions and goals

During certain times of the year people seem to be naturally driven, or at least culturally motivated to re-evaluate their inner world. In times where we slow down to rest, celebrate life and re-connect with nature and family, thought patterns change and we allow time for reflection. This double-edged sword can create great opportunity for personal growth or may orchestrate…

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Authentic expression of grace

I woke this morning with an unfamiliar sense of anxiety.  It was the most glorious spring morning, I had enough time to water all my seedlings and admire the first buds on my roses bushes, but my stomach was in a knot and my mind was troubled.  Eventually I had mowed the lawn and swept the driveway in an attempt…

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In search of slow, again

Ten years ago I read a life-changing book called ’In Praise of Slow’ by Carl Honoré.  Last week I went on an information hunt to see what has become of the ideas that seemed so appealing and functional.  It seems that the ‘slow movement’ has grown and has certainly been embraced in various aspects of life. But what remains disturbing is that…

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From vulnerability to wholeness

Certainly the most important vision I have had for my work as a therapist has been to continuously expand my perceptions on how to live, love and parent differently – to enhance the aspects that work well, to correct the strategies that have become outdated and to embrace new and relevant knowledge. I was scanning through the stack of journal…

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The quest for happiness

The word happiness is probably the most frequently used word in my consulting room.  It is the one thing most people want, that one emotion that remains elusive and the thing most people experience a lack of.  Happiness is commonly described as a feeling that comes over you when you experience a sense of wellbeing and joy.  Most people would add…

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Realisation of resilience

As a therapist, I am continuously amazed by the incredible capacity that people have to deal with life’s burdens, setbacks and struggles. Resilience is that quality that allows certain individuals to be challenged severely by life events and to make a comeback, stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them, they seem to have the resolve to rise above…

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On wanting it all, right now

When last did you have to persevere beyond failure? We live in a world where instant gratification has become the norm. You can have instant food, instant access to money, instant weight loss, instant hair growth and promises of instant anything is everywhere. We are constantly conditioned that financial constraint is something that you can overcome by accessing credit. Are…

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