The resilience of romantic love

We all want to be loved in a way that makes us feel great. When we meet someone that we fall in love with, our need to love needs to be matched by our need to be loved. This is when a romantic relationship can flourish into a great connection that can last over time. I have always claimed that…

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Turning concern into action

The way information comes to us has become a rather fascinating thing. For one, we are not seeking stuff anymore, we are being found by articles, news flashes and petitions.   A while ago, I was having coffee with a wise friend. I ended up complaining, as one can easily do in the company of a caring companion. The root of…

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To love, and be loved

The half moon shaped courtyard outside my consulting room was planted with herbs 12 years ago. From the rosemary bushes in the sunny corner I have harvested many slips for new plants and the lavenders have provided bunches of fragrant flowers for drying. I also chose two small bayleaf trees, shaped into topiaries. This little haven of herbs has provided…

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How do I help someone during a traumatic time?

People often wonder how they can help when someone close to them is going through a tough time, whether due to illness or a great loss (like the death of a loved one or their employment).  The fact is that there is no textbook answer to this question. But there are ways of supporting a friend, family member or colleague…

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FOR THOSE WE CANNOT SEE – High functioning depressives

It may seem hard to imagine, but amongst us live high achieving people who suffer from chronic depression. It is not easy to detect, and often quite difficult to diagnose because the symptoms are not presented publicly. This continuing, low-level of depression is called dysthymia. This type of depression is not as severe as the debilitating major depressive disorders, but…

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Prioritise your inner world

In order to thrive as human beings, we need to gauge the quality of our inner world, including our thoughts. What are we thinking? Do we have recurring thought patterns? Do we find ourselves in a place where we judge our own thoughts as ‘strange’ or ‘abnormal’?  We all have them: the inner microcosms of thoughts and feelings which are interesting and potentially…

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About visions and goals

During certain times of the year people seem to be naturally driven, or at least culturally motivated to re-evaluate their inner world. In times where we slow down to rest, celebrate life and re-connect with nature and family, thought patterns change and we allow time for reflection. This double-edged sword can create great opportunity for personal growth or may orchestrate…

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Taking charge of recharging

    This time of the year is for most people a time to rest. But resting is not always simple and without complications. Many of us also find it hard to unwind and don’t always know how to rest optimally.   So you are taking leave from work, you have days (or weeks) off, you have time to recharge.…

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Making sense in a time of mass information

The time we are living in now affords us tremendous exposure to information. We all seem to be involved in a conscious (or unconscious) process to discern how to thrive in a time like this.   Part of this process is to uncover certain illusions that may constrain our well-being.   Hence this piece on three illusions in the time…

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Authentic expression of grace

I woke this morning with an unfamiliar sense of anxiety.  It was the most glorious spring morning, I had enough time to water all my seedlings and admire the first buds on my roses bushes, but my stomach was in a knot and my mind was troubled.  Eventually I had mowed the lawn and swept the driveway in an attempt…

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